SAN DIEGO—Calling communication the cornerstone of their marriage, local couple Sam and Christina Garber confessed to reporters Thursday that they never dreamed they would one day be able to talk so openly and honestly about cabinets with each other.

The Garbers, who wed in 2006 and have two children, confirmed that early in their relationship it was difficult to have a constructive conversation about anything even remotely related to cabinetry, admitting that they lacked the closeness and trust to share their true feelings about wood materials, hardware, and custom accents . . .

We've all had moments in our relationships like this. Here's the rest of the cabinetry story from American's Finest Satirical News Source: The Onion!